I’ve been ignoring the written language far too much.  Both here and in real life.  I guess it’s just built up and I had a bit of a word-explosion all over Tonka earlier tonight.  A lot of introspective thought and the lack of venting any of my thoughts except those broadcast via Bleeding Pixels had been accumulating in my little head and I guess it’s been bogging me down a little.

A lot of what has been floating around in there is just thinking about how most of us live our lives.  There are some people out there who have a skill and simply excel at it, while others work their ass off and prove to be just as good.  However, most of us live in the shadow of those we aspire to be;   we think our work is terrible and want to produce things on the level that they do.   Take a step back, though. If you look at the people we aspire to be? they aspire to be someone else.   They think their work is terrible and they want to produce something more than what they do.

This is an incredibly common situation, one I feel pretty much everyone is in.  Human nature, I suppose.  There’s two obvious ways this situation can be viewed;  if the person you aspire to be like thinks their work is trash, what does that make your work?  Or, the ever-so-positive view;  this is simply human nature, everyone is simply trying to further themselves, to better themselves in what they enjoy.   One is clearly a happier point of view than the other.  Personally, I don’t have either of those views.  I’m not writing this because it’s something I feel (although I do have these feelings from time to time), but more so because I view it as a very peculiar circumstance.

My personal view, and it’s really one I want to try to live by more adamantly, is that I produce the work I do for no one but myself.  I know I’ll never be the artist I aspire to be, instead I’ll be the artist I know I can be and I’ll produce things that I’m proud of no matter what.  I’ll write things that I feel are worth writing, and I’ll do what I want with the ideas in my head.  If I inspire people along the way?  that’s fantastic.  I never want those people to feel hopeless, though.  I never want them to look at what I do as better than what they do. I’m just a human. We’re all just people. Whether you’re a rockstar or a video game design student, no one person is better than the other.

I feel the podcast is really a manifestation of that.  I’ve wanted to do one for a long time but I was always too intimidated.  I felt that there was no point because I couldn’t produce something of the quality of some of the shows out there.  I guess I realized, though, that I should just produce what I want to; a show I, myself, would like to listen to.  If people enjoy it than that’s all the better, but that’s not the only reason I’m a part of the ‘cast.  I’m producing that show because it’s something I enjoy, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do, and I feel that we really are adding something to the community.  And that’s a damn good feeling.

If you haven’t seen it yet, I strongly suggest watching this video.  It’s truly touching, and it brought me to tears.

In other news?  thanks to the ever-awesome Myuu, we’ve acquired a High Definition television.  I’m absolutely loathing living at home.  I’m a lazy slacker, and we very recently published ep. 002 of Bleeding Pixels~!

I’m going to write it down so I actually abide by it, this time.  This Sunday will be Dom’s day, dammit.

Lola was a show girl.

I SAW BOTH GRINDHOUSE MOVIES AND FELL IN LOOOOOVE. :) I laughed at Death Proof a lot near the end. I was like, "YES! KILL THAT FURKERRRR."

My dad was watching it with me so we both were laughing. :D :D :D

( ***EDIT(3:12 AM). )

DIGITAL SCREENSHOTs FOR THE DAY:



( sketches )

Today is the DIGIMON COSPLAY Sleepover.

I know even though I was kind of a b*tch, and everyone was a little annoyed at that it will be fun. :)



And no, I don't care what you say I'm posting DIGIMON screencaps until AX comes <333

And now TaroBoy EXTRA pages:

( TaroBoy Alternate Ending )

( SORRY (>_<) )

TAROBOY UPDATE:

EDIT AGAIN::::: Screw it. Yeah. I have three essays to write and I don't appreciate my friends planning things without consulting ALL OF US.

FUCK IT YOU KNOW, IT'S MY FAULT. I DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE SCHOOL EARLY. I DIDN'T HAVE TO PUT ALL THIS UNCESSARY STRESS. I REALLY, REALLY, DIDN'T NEED TO PUT UP WITH IT. AND YELLING?!?! WHOSE YELLING?!?!?!!

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?!?!?!

NOVAAA BLAAAASTEERRRRR.

*school work goes up in flames*

...sigh. AX breaks up friends.

But I love *you* guys though. :)

I'll see most of you at artist alley! *can't wait omg*

lol. What's funny is that I was angry in the beginning of this post.

But now I find it really stupid.

haha.

Still up la la la.

Nothing to do but to update journal!!!!

Thank you to everyone who posted their opinion on the last entry :) LET'S RP TOGETHER YAH?

( Tonight's topic? Family Values. )

HOMG SO MUCH CRAP TO DO FOR AX.

The thing with our cosplay group, is that we GET into each other's cosplay. So I'm doing like, Joe's shoes, Mimi's hat, Tai's shoes... ALL OF OUR DIGIVICES + CRESTS. *dies*

Plus our Matt is like sewing everything =__=;;;

My room is a mess.

( click for cosplay. )

no, really. lets.

Because it's 2:34 AM and I should be working on my essay for Writing 1.

I am NOT a popular artist. My art style is... ugh. Just, majority don't like it I GUESS.

I know I can suck up to people, and get more "page views" that way. But let's be honest- I don't. Heck, I basically abandoned my DevART account because I was so lazy in replying to people.

I don't believe in talking to people for the sake of getting more known.

I will say for a fact that the people I talk to on LiveJournal- I have a genuine interest in them (AS FRIENDS OF COURSE DUR.)

I don't believe in that crap of making friends to be popular. That's bull.

So if you don't favor me- or talk to me anymore because I don't "watch" or "fav" you back, or if I haven't commented, "OMGGGG CUTE ARRTTT *fav*", I really don't know what to say and I'm very sad you would think of me like that.

I'm not some commenter, or someone to flaunt at your art.

I wanted to be your friend and who knows, DO P-CHAT? Or something.

It's hard for me to make friends. I want to do the whole p-chat/collab/mail each other stuff things.

AND I SO BADLY WANT TO RP WITH PEOPLE.

But I'mtooshydangit.

SOMEONE LOVE ME =___=;;;


( some good times )